April is the Cruelest Month
TS Eliot knew what he was talking about. Anxiety and depression burst in on me every April. Spring's light shines mercilessly on me, and I'm aware of how little I am against the tsunami of what I should be. I fall short everywhere I look.
Can we change who we are? I've been making feeble attempts to leap beyond my fears, but they are feeble attempts. I'm indecisive and project insecurity. Staying where I am is safe, although difficult. I have a history there. Leaving feels like a failure because it means I'm unable to triumph over the difficult situation, to be strong enough to master it and get what I want. Truly stuck, and suffering over it.
Can we change who we are? I've been making feeble attempts to leap beyond my fears, but they are feeble attempts. I'm indecisive and project insecurity. Staying where I am is safe, although difficult. I have a history there. Leaving feels like a failure because it means I'm unable to triumph over the difficult situation, to be strong enough to master it and get what I want. Truly stuck, and suffering over it.
